June 11, 2008

  • Semi-random rantings


    Okay, so it has been a while since I had a serious
    update.  I have been busy getting the
    vestiges of school done for the foreseeable future.  There really is nothing new to report.  I am still single; I have not made any
    progress in my calculations from this
    post    , and I am in the process of looking for a job.

     

    However, I would like to take some time to expand upon the
    above mentioned post.  I have to be
    honest; I am a very calculating person. 
    I put a lot of thought into every major action.  I suppose that is why I am an ISTJ.  Sometimes it is a good thing; other times not
    so good. 

     

    I am close to graduation now, and looking for a job to begin
    my professional career.  Not sure where
    anything will lead.  I’ve done what I can;
    now I just have to leave it up to God.  This
    brings me to a comment several people made regarding my game
    theory/relationship post.  Several people
    asked me where God was in the whole picture. 
    I do have to admit I did neglect God in my planning.  I don’t know what my future holds, whether it
    will be here in Dallas or somewhere else. 
    That unknown aspect of everything frustrates me.  I know it shouldn’t, but it does. 

     

    However, since I put that post up and now a few things have
    changed.   Well, okay, so not a lot.  I’m still focused on one particular lady, I still
    haven’t made an approach, and I’m still having trouble reconciling a few
    issues.  There’s really nothing big about
    these issues, but it is the ISTJ in me that makes the issues big.  I’ve been wallowing in indecision for too
    long and I need to take action.  What
    kind of action you ask?  Well, I just
    need to man up and initiate, whatever may come of it. 

     

    This leads me to another set of issues entirely.  Sure I dated a few times before, but I had
    only one real serious relationship where I was almost ready to buy a ring.  That one ended without much fanfare.  We’re still friends, but there’s no
    possibility for us to resume our relationship. 
    Since then I almost started a relationship and tried to start another.  With the former, circumstances made it so I
    had to leave before anything could develop. 
    The latter was a case of rejection. 
    Both hurt, a lot.  I was able
    reconcile the first several over a year ago when I went back to California for
    a visit.  The second I have reconciled
    and accepted, and we remain friends.  What
    does that mean now?  I don’t know. 

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