This was originally part of my previous post. However, as you can see I was a little long to be second fiddle to a rather short rant. I’m sure many of you will be able to relate to this…
I found this article. I know there are many of you who laughed at me for using game theory in relationship planning. Admit it; I know you were laughing so hard you had a hernia. This is a very good article with some good insight. However, it has made me realize my approach was somewhat flawed. I realized that I did not take into account that nothing is really my choice. I have to look at the situation from a whole different angle. Although, to some degree I do have a choice, as in which available female that is transmitting the message of being open. Alas, according to the article that is the only choice we as males have. Since, it is up to the female to either choose to accept the approach or reject it. The article uses the example of proposal, but I think it can apply to my application. The only issue I am having is wondering if posing the question will result in an affirmative or negative response. (But, that's a whole new game tree in itself) However, I do have to wonder; are those women that are still single into their late 30's just indecisive or do they know better than their younger counterparts? Are those women in their 20's just decisive and pick the best men, or do they just appeal more as being less maintenance (I use maintenance for a lack of a better term).
I would argue that they are a little bit of both. Most men will avoid women that require a lot of maintenance. And therefore those women who are such in their 20's, while may be sending the signal of being available, may not be as decisive when choosing to say yes to a man. They question his potential and perceive that there may be potentially better specimens (I apologize for making this sound scientific, but I am a social scientist). So they make the choice to reject. And continue to do so with other men who approach. She may be the first women that men will approach, but her rejection will only free them to go after lower maintenance models. Eventually, it will become apparent that she is not decisive and men will be less inclined to perceive her as sending a signal. Therefore, she will just get older and continue to question why. Whereas the more decisive, lower maintenance women will not question if there is a better specimen. They will accept the approach, and then make a running evaluation during the relationship. This allows them to either accept or reject the flaws and shortcomings of the man. If they reject him because of the flaws and shortcomings then they just wait for the next man to come along. The rejected man then goes and licks his (emotional) wounds and searches for the next women sending signals.
Furthermore, if they do choose to accept the man for all his flaws and shortcomings it is more indicative of her willingness to adjust (or some men will consider it a desire to fix something, but that is a post in itself). This is where game theory plays in. Once the woman has indicated that she has accepted the man for who he is, it is up to the man to decide weather he is willing to continue on or go look for a better model. More than likely, the man will continue on. These two decisions have a lot of cost-benefit calculations associated with them. Of course there is a game tree involved, how complex it is depends on how many variables are perceived on both sides. However, I am digressing quite a bit here from my original thoughts; although, all this is related.
Now, being a man in my late 20’s going into my 30’s soon (you can define soon any way you want) I look around and wonder, am I that low on the tier or is it that I am not picking up on the signals of availability? I see my contemporaries getting into relationships and getting married. How are they different from me? Or maybe this theory can be applied to men as well. What if we as men are too indecisive or too dense to perceive the signals being sent to us? And because of that we fail to approach women and get left behind by the more decisive and perceptive men. I would argue that this may be the case. (Although, there are those vain enough to say that there are no women who are worthwhile to approach.)
On the other hand when I look around and see those women who are in their 30’s and not yet married nor in relationships; I wonder why? Are they the ones who are indecisive or higher maintenance or both? Or maybe it’s because they are more subtle in the signals they transmit? If they are being indecisive, I have to ask why? Do they truly believe that someone better will come around? Maybe I’m trying to add too much theory and psychology to this whole thing.
Following you will find some diagrams. These are my game trees that I have developed. I replaced the woman’s name with a pseudonym. I choose to use Juliet form Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. So, there is no need to try and read into the name. I was going to scan my hand written notes but realized how messy and poor my handwriting is. Therefore, I have painstakingly replicated them on the computer. Game Tree A shows the initial maneuvering. I have this much thought out so far. However, I am having difficulty determining payouts. I may have to simplify the payouts to jus -1, 0, and 1. Those will come into play when I begin to calculate the Nash equilibrium.

Game Tree B, shows the second stage of the game. This is somewhat more complex, and the unknown outcome is what throws off the entire calculation. Here, it is difficult to determine what the payout will be. Furthermore, for the most part we both are playing a somewhat simultaneous game, yet the moves are sequential. We are also using imprecise and unequal information. Therefore, the game becomes even more complex. We will not know the others move until it has been made.

I suppose I’m still at the point of figuring out what is worth winning. In order for all my calculations to be worthwhile, I need to determine if the prize at the end is worth the time and effort. Right now, I’m thinking that the time and effort are worth it. However, the only problem is determining if I am receiving the right signal.
I over-simplified the game theory here, so please don’t get upset if I am somewhat off in my line of thought. But, if there some game theorists out there any suggestions will be very helpful.
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